How not to be needy when dating

Posted by / 13-Sep-2017 18:37

He actually once pointed out that I’m kind of distant with him him. The fact is: “You cannot possess another person.” All this stuff about “you’re mine and I’m yours” sounds poetic in movies and songs, but in real life it’s not only an unrealistic mindset…

it’s a poisonous belief to have in your relationship. the other person – you just get and deserve everything they give you just for showing up.

Being needy or clingy in a relationship creates that exact dynamic and can have the opposite effect you long for. When you’re clingy, it doesn’t feel good to your partner. The emotions that fuel clinginess—such as insecurity, jealousy, loneliness and others—are painful ones. In the middle of texting, calling, driving past his house, or checking out her Facebook page, pay attention to what your body is telling you. “Cohesive,” on the other hand, refers to elements of the same thing sticking together, which is much better description of what being a healthy couple should be.

It can leave your love-interest feeling trapped, suffocated, and smothered. ) that you’re too clingy, here are five steps to liberate not only your partner from the clutches of clinginess, but yourself as well. When you are at your clingiest, you may even feel driven and powerless, as if you couldn’t choose to behave differently even if you wanted to. If you’re longing to connect is a lot stronger than your partner’s— or if you’re being driven by insecurity, jealousy or loneliness—take a step back. When you’re adhesive, you can cause even someone who really loves you to long for space and, in doing so, diminish your chances of ever developing cohesiveness as a couple.

You may think these are positive traits, but if you’re the only one giving or sacrificing, it’s time to ask yourself why the relationship has become unbalanced and unequal. The dictionary defines “adhesive” as a substance for sticking one thing to another.

The same thing can be said for being accommodating and flexible. When one person in a relationship is clingy, it may create the illusion of being part of a couple–but it’s actually a lonely place to be.

Needy people receive unkind words, behavior that say's "your not so important to me,"and less and less affection as their relationship goes on.

People who are not needy would end a relationship if they felt like that. People who have a needy partner can do whatever they want because although needy people complain, they don't leave.

I did not know what to say, how to behave and bit by bit that gorgeous guy smiling across from me would disappear. Even lavishing your partner with gifts or compliments that are out of proportion to what you’re receiving is a form of clinginess. Also, pay attention to your body when you don’t get the response you’re seeking, such as when he doesn’t pick up when you call or she doesn’t text you back right away. If so, it’s probably time to take a deep breath and take your foot off the emotional gas pedal. People who have well-rounded lives—and are getting emotional needs met through a variety of activities, people, and communities—are much less likely to feel needy or become too clingy. Don’t barrage your partner with ten texts to every one of hers, or ten phone calls to each of his.We become vulnerable and become ultra-agreeable with that person. Three dates later you are hanging on his every word and you agree to go to a football match with him.Now, at the game you are the most miserable person there.

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The longer the relationship goes on however, the more the power differential results in people become very careful not to do or say things that would make their partner upset.